Thursday, May 20, 2010

Jealous Bones.....

I have a lot of these right now..... Actually i'd venture to say almost every bone in my body is a jealous one right now. Shall we discuss???


1. High School Graduation. Last weekend we made the long trek back to Wichita for my BIL's graduation.

So young..... so clueless to all of the wonderful things he'll learn/experience in college...... I WANT TO GO BACK!!!! I'd pay LARGE sums of money to start over in college again. Sure there are things i'd do different....ohhh like actually attend class..... but there are many many things i wouldn't change....like all of the AMAZING people i met..... the lifelong friends i made...... the life leasons i learned.....Aggieville...... $2 pitchers...... oh wait i'm getting of track here. I think one of the MAJOR things i miss...is the lack of responsibility I had. Sure...i was in charge of getting myself to class (Fail)...feeding/bathing myself (sometimes also a fail).... part-time jobs..... but other then that (i understand i was lucky...and that others didnt have it so easy) i had no big responsibilities. No debt....no full time job..... no insurance payments..... no husband to please (that in itself is a FULL TIME JOB!) Remind me again why i left???? (in case you don't know this answer...after 6 years, parents said no more!! damn them!)

2. Reproduction. Maybe we missed the memo and are doing this all wrong. They haven't changed the way babies are made have they??? NO??? Damn....didn't think so. I'm struggling with this one.... like a lot. Probably because i'm the world's most impatient person. Probably because i had a taste of it....and had it taken from me. Probably because i'm the world's biggest baby person and it's what i've always wanted.....either way...... God's being mean to me. I know i know....we've only been trying since February.....my body may not be ready again yet..... i'm stressing too much about it......trav may be slipping me the pill when i'm not looking...... I've got a whole list of reasons why it's not happening. Still....it sucks. I know that there are people out there that have been trying MUCH longer then me....that are having to deal with MUCH more, and my heart aches for those people. If i'm going this crazy over 3 months of trying.... could you imagine what a year or more would do to me????

Yep....that'd be me. (if i turned into a red-headed man apparently!). So I'm going to TRY and take everyone's advice (including my Dr. whom i am sure is super annoyed with me and my 10,000 emails!!) and RELAX....enjoy life not being preggo (drinks anyone???) and just let God's plan play out. I said TRY people.....no promises!!

3. Range Rovers. Those that know me....know this is my DREAM car. Those that know me....know this will probably never happen..... a girl can dream right??? EVERY day....every stinking day....on my drive to work....i see at least FIVE.....and this is within ohhhh like a mile radius.

To clarify.... I don't work in an upity place...... i just so happen to work very close to one of Denver's more upity Private schools (we're talking $25,000 for a year!). So basically i get to drive along all these range rover, audi, benz, volvo owning stay at home mothers....... *sigh*......someday.......someday.

4. Happy People. Ok...i'm a happy person (generally)..... but i'm not a happy person at work. Might have something to do with the fact that my job.....blows. Know what else blows....the unemployment rate. Damn damn damn. Guess i'll just suck it up for a bit longer.....

I"m sure there are like 5,000 other things i'd like to bitch about....... but those 4 will do for now......

P.S. Don't take this wrong. I'm very very very grateful for all the things i have.... the life i live.... and all the people in it......k???? ok then.....with that said have a freaking great weekend. I"ll be sitting on a patio enjoying this amazing weather while it lasts!

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