Cat's out of the bag.....

**Sidenote:  I've never really understood that saying...so i googled it.  here's what i found.  it relates to the fraud of substituting a cat for a piglet at markets. If you let the cat out of the bag you disclosed the trick - and avoided buying a pig in a poke (bag). This form of trickery is long alluded to in the language and 'pigs in a poke' are recorded as early as 1530.*** So now you know.

Well.  It finally happened folks.  After two LONG, tiring, expensive, emotionally draining, and crazy years...we are FINALLY pregnant!

This is nothing short of a miracle...our miracle.  (i'm totally not going to make it through this post without crying!)  We've been through just about everything you can be through on the journey to conceive.  And ya know.  At this point, I'm not sure i'd take it all back.  It's made me look at pregnancy from a whole different perspective....it's made me appreciate EVERY little thing.  It's made my marriage stronger....it's made my love for Travis even stronger.  That man has seen me at my absolute worse, seen me when i swore i couldn't go on, he's wiped away more tears then any one person should ever have to wipe off their wife's face in their first years of marriage, he's held my hand through procedure after procedure and never once, not even for a second....did he stop being optimistic and hopeful.   He was my rock...he was my believer.  He's the reason i kept going.  If anyone deserves a mini me running around...it's that guy.

Ok.  Enough of that.

Back to the story of Baby M, or the little turd, as i like to call him/her (Nice huh!).

I Started testing way earlier than i should have...7 dpo (days post ovulation for you none fertility knowing people) on June 19th.   It was a SUPER faint positive.  But I wouldn't let myself think too much into it.  We had taken a trigger shot (to force ovulation, something i do NOT do on my own!) and those can give false positives if you test too early.  (aren't you learning a lot today?!?)  So i made myself wait a a few more days...the 22nd, still positive, and a little darker! this is good news.  however i'm still not letting myself get excited.  i'm super optimistic can't you tell.  Next day...darker.  start freaking out just a wee bit.  even darker the next...starting to let myself believe this could be it....but still cautious.  I have a hard time believing those tests obviously.  Monday, June 25 i take a digital.  I usually stay away from those, cause i think they're just so mean.  Pregnant/Not pregnant.  No candy lining there.  But for the first time in over 2 years....it actually says PREGNANT!! HOLY COW.  I call my doctors office the second they open, they email me an order for a pregnancy test and i hightail it out of work to the hospital (they're the only place here in town that does them in house, everyone else sends them out and takes a whole day to get results, no freaking way that was working).  I get the phone call later that day that i am in fact pregnant!!

Fast forward two weeks (that was torture!!) and we have our first ultrasound to make sure it's a viable pregnancy.  I was SO nervous.  I think i just always assume the worse, because that's sort of how our luck has been in the past with all this baby stuff.... but not this time.  There is a beautiful single baby in there,  heart just beating away!!! (We were 6 wks 2 days, so heart had just started beating!  Rate was 126bpm)

We are officially in the clear to tell our parents.  (oh i forgot to add, we hadn't told anyone we were seeing the doctor again.  not our parents, not our friends...no one)  We wait a few days to tell my siblings...and wait two whole weeks to tell trav's!  (they were in town for Dodge City days so we thought it would be fun to do it in person!).  We had decided to wait to tell everyone else until later...just to be safe.

8 week appointment:  or Graduation as i like to call it.  This is the last time we'll see our specialist....so it's a big deal.  And scary.  I was so stressed about it the nurse pretty much thought i was dead.  My blood pressure was 80/60 and my pulse was like 20.  i in fact, was not dead.  just scared shitless.  But it all went smashingly well.  Little turd was growing right along (1 days ahead at this point) and heart was thumping like crazy (169bpm).  We were officially getting the boot....no more specialist...just regular ol ob/gyn's for us now.  bittersweet really.

Those first 4 weeks were a whirlwind.  Lots of excitement, lots of worry, lots of sleeping.  Man was i tired.  I didn't really feel bad, little nauseated here and there, but never got sick.  I'd have to say main symptom was tiredness.  Lots and lots of napping took place.

I was bloated to begin with from the meds....so never really started with my oh so flat six pack i swear i had before :)  But the belly has def. made it's appearance...i feel like at 12 weeks was when it became noticable.  (i take these in the morning, you do not want to see what it looks like at night...whoa) 

This past weekend we decided to make it facebook official.  What better place to do that then in manhattan, wearing purple, and with willie :) 

So that's been the journey so far.... it's been a crazy one!!!

P.S.-  I'll start weekly bump-dates soon!!!